The Real life Unicorn aka “me time”

Me time…..It’s elusive.
And I haven’t experienced much of it since 2009.
And with each passing year it seems to be further out of reach, or maybe that’s got something to do with churning out 3 babies in 6 years.
Oh how I miss going to the toilet on my own.
Being able to close that door behind me, and not have to speak to anyone.
These days as soon as I go to the toilet, I am opening museli bar wrappers for starving neglected children, solving brotherly disputes, making binoculars out of empty toilet rolls & rubber bands, OR like clockwork the baby of the house (Minti) cries. Every. Single. Time. And I have to work out the level of distress to the cry as to how urgently I need to jump up from my business.
Or OR possibly the worst is when my super inquisitive & helpful child Minti decides to run in, grab the toilet paper and make a run for it.
Leaving me paperless and her massively amused.
It happens far too often, and I never learn.
And trying to negotiate with a one year old who doesn’t know the difference between her elbow & nose is not the easiest task.

I see Instagram & Facebook posts FULL with #metime #mindfullness #childfree #datenight and I think HOW.
How do these women do it?
How do they go for a walk on the beach at 6am?
How do they manage that mid morning yoga class?
Or coffee date with friends?
And date night?
Or put themselves first & leave a messy kitchen, over flowing washing basket, and messy bedrooms behind them when they head out for the day.
I don’t even know what that is.
I realise I am sounding very poor me, welcome to my pity party.
But that’s so SO not the case.

And I know I’m not alone.

So let’s be honest.

So honestly for the last 6 years and 351 days I have been 110% Mum.
And 0% Phoebe.
And thanks to the good old Facebook memories (insert sarcasm), Phoebe pre babies keeps popping up.
She was a fun, funny chick who knew how to let her hair down.
And I can still feel her inside me.
But Mum me is so tired, and has way different priorities these days.

And that’s totally okay.

BUT….
It has to change, even a little, just a smidge.
For me.
For my relationship.
And for my children.
I fully believe in evolution of self.
And this self needs to evolve into finding some balance between Mum and Phoebe.
So I will start small.
I will try going to Target to get some new undies for myself and actually buy them INSTEAD of putting them back in favour for a pretty new dress for Minti which she definitely doesn’t need.

It’s all about balance.

And possibly trying to find a babysitter who I can trust (this is going to be a work in process) so maybe Dan and I can go out every so often, alone and #childfree for a #datenight

I am not a hater. Do not be mistaken.

If you can get out the door alone for a walk/run/coffee/quiet time/date night then I am wholeheartedly cheering you on.
I just wish I could join you, even as the third wheel on date night.
Mums crave adult time.
Adult time without children so you can actually start & finish a conversation, and feel like a real person.

Let me tell you those precious 15 minutes in the car after school drop off, when Minti is asleep or content and I am cruising down the highway BLASTING Dolly Parton and singing as loud as I can make me feel SO much better before I get home to alllllll my super fun (note sarcasm) jobs.

As do the quick convos with the beautiful Mums at my sons school in the afternoons.
They make me feel sane.
Even if 98% of the time we are either talking about our children, or whinging about our spouses.
It’s a win, because it’s adult conversations with absolute legends who get it, and get me.
And I completely adore them for it.

So this is the year (yes I know it’s already May, but better late than never) of finding some #metime I would LOVE you to join me, or if you’ve already got it sorted share with me how you make it work!!

Because being a Mum is all consuming but it shouldn’t consume US entirely.